Now, we have been in India for about 10 days.  I think just about every day I ask myself , "what am I doing here?! What are WE doing here!?".  Every day, I receive an answer to this question.  India has been calling me back and back and back again.  After 7 long months of travelling through Hawaii, New Zealand, Australia, Thailand,  and now India where we have been welcomed by Father Joe, I feel quite relieved, quite at home even if for just a short while.

We are staying at a busy intersection where 4 streets meet.  The sounds of the streets never end.  They are starting to blend in with the surroundings.  The honking of horns, the rumbling of a large bus or truck, the different sounds of all the cars, rikshaws, the grumble of a motorbike, screech of another rikshaw .  All through the night, all through the day.

Yesterday we took a rikshaw drive to go check out some shops.  Things don't open up here until around 10 or 11.  We got caught in the rain, the pouring down, monsoon rain.  People waded in the water up to their calves, rode their bicycles getting drenched.  We decided we didn't want to get out. The "mall" didn't open for another 15 minutes and we did not want to wait in the rain. Okay, so call us wimps. We are from Kodiak where it rains sideways and upside down and its freezing rain and blowing 70 miles per hour. And we did not want to get out in the tropical monsoon!  The rikshaw driver got mad because I could not make up my mind on what to do. Yet, I couldn't communicate to him how I just wanted to drive around in the rain, looking and watching.  He insisted I pay him 300 rupees, which was about 100 rupees too much from what I figured.  By the time he did drop us off, we'd been driving around for an hour.  I paid him 110 rupees, he looked at me with disappointment and I gave him another 10 and argued the point with him.  He seemed fine with 120 rupees.

The monsoon rain continues.  We have one umbrella. Ruby holds me close as we walk down the street and we huddle under to stay dry.   Or we hop into a rikshaw since it will keep us dry.

The frustration of being here almost drives me to buy a one way ticket -- anywhere. But the lure of it here keeps me.  I know we are here for a reason. I know everything happens for a reason. 

The frustration of not being able to find a roll of toilet paper because I have my daughter with me and she would rather take a rikshaw than walk and search for the things we need.  And it is easier to take a rikshaw to the foreign owned bagel shop that has free wi fi, than it is to walk down to the stores in search of what we need (ie: toilet paper;hair rubberbands; shampoo; bread; yogurt; juice; snacks). Each store carries different things, so it's not like shopping at a super market where I can get everything in one stop. I don't even know yet where each of these stores are exactly located.  There is only one of me and Ruby has been with me just about every single moment - except when she goes to play with the upstairs neighbor boy.

What am I doing here!? What are we doing here?

"The Lord shall lead us..." Father Joe said this to me a few days ago, and yes He shall and He is.

May the Lord lead you to , whoever is reading this!